Saturday, July 26, 2014
Problem
They are making me think of my Gramma. I was thinking if I was rich from my singing or if I got in a movie, I could give her money 1st, and Ellen would find that a topic for talking, stuck up. She is pessimistic. Also, they think it's important my dad just answered my text as I finished this or something.
My Gramma seems to feel bad. Why can't anyone like .. like the people she knew were mean to her and died I think .. cuza that N word thing with my dad.
She was mean to me, though. I feel sorry for her and wanna help, though, cuz she's like lonelier and doesn't even seem as content as she could. I don't wanna complain about older people in general, but they were acting this out to me. Like, the part when she's mean. I am careful there, but they are now out to get me. Thanks to my dad. You said Tim Burton wasn't to blame?
My Gramma seems to feel bad. Why can't anyone like .. like the people she knew were mean to her and died I think .. cuza that N word thing with my dad.
She was mean to me, though. I feel sorry for her and wanna help, though, cuz she's like lonelier and doesn't even seem as content as she could. I don't wanna complain about older people in general, but they were acting this out to me. Like, the part when she's mean. I am careful there, but they are now out to get me. Thanks to my dad. You said Tim Burton wasn't to blame?
Problem
They keep doing stuff, they did something weird to a post I got in my mail, and the 2nd time I clicked it said it was read, and it said it was like family, someone black because of being black but also who is being wacky. What about white people? I never get to be with white people. Like before!
YUP
Ellen gaped at me when she thought up me feeling love from my mom when she's the 1 who's hurt. Yup. She's involved in my family. No lie. She is judging me with race, but I deny that. Your mom thinks I'm fine. You're the 1 who apparently ^needed help^. You think because you need help that everyone does. No, I don't! Look at someone else with mixed race and help them instead! Instead, you have all these full blacks and people flown in from Vietnam or Taiwan. Famous kids who don't know what they're doing. Putting on quite a spectacle of a show in retrospect to what you claim to uphold to. You don't talk about mixed people who need help. You just use me to ruin. So, what, can't admit you're like a biracial and can be put in the same clump as everyone else? I'm sorry if this offends you, but I'm working on being nicer.. Instead of just blowing up. You know, I hit my table twice today but not too hard and sorta on a whim. I also just realized I thought of something violent. I closed the door hard 2 times at least, as well. I will say an Our Father, Hail Mary, and Glory Be. What can I do about it now? Just think it was bad and learn to not have a temper. They wouldn't give me medicine for it! I have it for depression and schizophrenia and was doing fine.
I've counted
numerous things that Ellen could have got off the shelf, my fav liverwurst no longer served, etc.
I didn't mean anything..
..bad against anyone but that I felt bothered. I don't like people to collect my "mistakes" from the past. Why can't you just talk about it?
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